Forget It Jake, It's Bunnytown II: Mastering Your Inner Psycho Bunny

It's hard being The Easter Bunny.

Da-da was sitting in his stinky wondrous Easter Bunny costume at the park de la amusement the other day, sitting alone on a break amidst a lovely Japanese garden tucked behind a building full of of greasy alien machinery, its grind blissfully muted by a blustery storm. All was quiet... well, as quiet as an amusement park in a storm can be. However, Inner Peace was within Da-da's bunny grasp... but it's kinda tough to achieve Inner Peace when you're wearing a odiferous 60-pound bunny costume in a storm in an amusement park. Regardless, Da-da exerted a firm, superbunny superhuman control of his inner psycho-bunny giant vegetable Da-da and was enjoying the sound of the wind, the scent of the rain, when a pubescent voice from beyond cleaved Da-da's rabbit reverie...

"HEY, EASTER BUNNY! YOU SUCK!"

So much for Inner Peace. Inner Psycho Bunny Activated.

You are officially hosed. (This is by one of Da-da's fav artists, Michael Sowa.)

Da-da Bun-Bun is Inbound: ENERGIZE THE BARRIER

Da-da Bun-bun is coming for you, Barbara.

Grab your linoleum lizards yard monkeys kids, folks, 'cause Da-da Bun-bun is inbound for his lapine giganticus amusement park shiftage. Might wanna run your kids through the metal detector this time, lady. The Easter Bunny doesn't take kindly to being poked with blades of the switch. Besides, it's tough to get blood out of Da-da's fur. He'll stay on his side of the electric barrier, thank you.

Forget It, Jake. It's Bunnytown (or, "Bizarro Easter Bunny Q+A")

GAP SOCKS?? Like that's gonna save you, BWAAHHHHAHAAAA!

Because of Da-da's awesome work as BAD MALL SANTA DA-DA, Da-da's been sentenced to being the Easter Bunny at a local amusement park, virtually guaranteeing that Da-da will have a long and lame career sweating inside humiliating costumes, listening to Generation WAH. For this latest gig, Da-da Bun-bun had to show up for "training and motion repatterning," so he could learn how to be the Easter Bunny. (Seriously.) Da-da is now an expert at wiggling his nose and fuzzy butt and hopping in a less-than-deleterious fashion -- hopefully one that makes you spend more money in the gift shop.

Now, the Easter Bunny is basically a bizarre creation, which is a prime reason for Da-da to emulate him. (Da-da's guessing it's a he, even though he's now technically an "it," if you can figure that one out.) But a rabbit that delivers painted eggs is so nonsensical that it begins to make perfect sense. What doesn't make sense is WHY children feel compelled to KICK and PUNCH the freakin' Easter Bunny.