"Sixteen Scandals" (Sung to, "Sixteen Candles") -- A Postmodern Banking Carol (#18 in a Series)

Ah, there you are. Now we can have a better look at you.

SIXTEEN SCANDALS

[Sung to the tune of, "Sixteen Candles," with apologies to Dixon and Khent.]

Crappy earth day, crappy earth day, baby
Banks, we loathe you so...

Sixteen scandles make an ugly blight
But not quite like The Fed's lies tonight (Fed's lies tonight)
(Oh!)

Blow out their candles, make our wish come true
For we'll be wishing central bankers go out of business, too (out of business, too)

You're only sixteen (sixteen)
But you steal like umpteen (with political smokescreen)
You're the lyingest, heinous scam we've ever seen (gone in 2013)
(Dough!)

Sixteen dismantles and maybe mo
Done forever and ever for we loathe you so (we want you to go)

Your number's only sixteen (sixteen)
But you steal like umpteen (with media smokescreen)
You're the lyingest, money-grubbing regression toward the mean (money-milking machine)
(D'Oh!)

Sixteen scandles in our angry torches will glow
For ever and ever for we loathe you so (for we loathe you so)
For we loathe you so!!!

That's one!

[Sing Postmodern Carol #17]
[Sing Postmodern Parenting Carol #19]