The Fearless Monster Hunters Look at... THEM

Your monster butt is SO kicked.

Unlike his brother, Da-da's oldest, Nagurski (on the right), has always preferred Halloween and monster books and stories over quasi-literary dove-and-bunny excursions (except for Lewis Carroll's offerings); Nagursky loves Edward Gorey and Jack Prelutsky (and YES, Da-da edits what he reads as he reads it). Because of this monstrous predilection toward monsters and propositional prepositional phrases, and as a celebration of summer, Da-da decided to cave in to one of Nagurski's frequent requests: watching horror/monster movies. Da-da can't show his boys real horror, o'course, but he can let them watch say the first 10 minutes of most Hammer/Christopher Lee productions, old science fiction and say, all those giant radioactive monster movies like, THEM (which he and his brother, Bronko, have already seen and loved).

Da-da has thus embarked upon a semi-regular Friday movie review feature on this blog called, THE FEARLESS MONSTER HUNTERS, with your pre- and post-K hosts: Bronko, aged four, and Nagurski, who's almost six. Bronko likes apple juice, is kind and sweet and monk-like and obstinant and impossible and can eat TEN eggs a day and is hideously strong and ninja-like. Nagurski likes milk, is the Mad Scientist from REANIMATOR, and is equally strong and ninja-like. Together, they represent one tremendous handful, but at least they wear anti-monster eye protection -- esp. when they watch horror/monster movies.

For their first movie, The Fearless Monster Hunters have decided to review, THEM. Sure, on a Joe Bob scale, there's not much happening in this movie (no breasts, blood, heads rolling, etc.), but when you're four or five, it's a pretty big deal when giant ants invade the Mojave Desert.

No, it's not about red vs. blue states. It's about ANTS, Timmy,
big ants like politicians, w/big pincers and no feelings.

Da-da will act as moderator, facilitator, projectionist, interpreter, and run the snack bar for this unexpurgated, no-holds-barred interview (which may one day have a podcast, if Da-da can keep the hellions from dunking Da-da's microphone.). Here we go, Da-da's questions are in bold:

The Fearless Monster Hunters Review: THEM.

Da-da: Ok, boys. First off, did this movie scare you?
Nagurski: No.
Bronko: No way.

Da-da: If giant ants invaded your town, what would you do?
Nagurski: I would just make 83 giant robots to destroy them, with guns and lasers. Or trick them into going into a door to another dimension.
Bronko: I would tame one and ride him around. Like to school! [They both laugh and suddenly try to ride one another, arguing over who's gonna be the giant ant; eventually, Referee Da-da has to step in with a cattle prod and quell the uprising.]

Da-da: What was your favorite part of THEM?
Nagurski: The scientists going into the giant ant hole -- esp. when they found all the baby ants.
Bronko: My favorite part was when that man saved those boys at the end.

Dd: What was the movie about? What do you think it meant?
N: How the ants got really big. That's the question.
B: The government made them. They do bad things.
N: Yeah, and the ants tried to get even.

Dd: How did the movie make you feel?
N: Happy! I love giant ants!
B: Strange. I felt sorry for the ants. They just wanted to live and be left alone.

Dd: What do you remember most about THEM?
N: That cool sound they made. And the wind.
B: I dunno. Can I have some more juice?

[Next week: THE HORROR OF DRACULA.]

Monsters are terrified of sombreros.