NASA's Been at the Corn Liquor Again

This is what NASA's been drinking every day for two weeks to come up with their latest Mars cover story.
Besides being every NASA bartenders' secret ingredient, Mellow Corn also tastes just like corn flakes.

[NOTE: This post was de-listed... but not by me. And a whole other post about NASA being dumb and hiding things has been deleted. Thank you so much for your censorship, Google. You suck.  So, here it is again.]

Ok! Let's get into it.

NASA has finally -- after two... er, THREE weeks of intensive hopped-up/corn-liquor PR dot.LIE meetings -- come upon a swamp gas story to explain the GIANT EXPLOSION on Mars, which factually occurred about 100 miles up from the Martian atmosphere. They story? It was a meteor storm that did it, smacking Colonel Mustard with debris from Comet Siding Spring. In light of this incredible new evidence (incredible that it took NASA three weeks to hatch something so lame), let's look at the evidence.

BOOM! Of COURSE that's a meteor shower. Caused by swamp gas. Damn Colonel Mustard!

Oh, here's the live version, below, just so you can see all the 400 billion meteors necessary to cause such an explosion:



Ok. That's pretty much self-explanatory. Now, let's look at the EXTRA weird plasma meteor shower energy that inexplicably smacked into Mars from the South Pole, while Siding Spring was approaching from the northeast.

No, it's not a lens flare, as lens flares don't move from south to north and explode. Giant jelly donuts, maybe.

GOSH that nonexistent lens flare swamp gas reflection might be energetic as hell, with a completely different trajectory than Comet Siding Spring, but it sure had nothing to do with the enormicon explosion, no. That's definite, Musta been a really big donut meteor... er, shower.

Here a few more views of it that swamp gas lens flare thing.

Just to be thorough, here are some actual 35 mm and 50 mm lens flares for comparison:

Identical swamp gas bigfoot reflectionage indicative of the gullibility of the general public.

Now let's look at the enormous wealth of NASA meteor shower images they're recorded from all those probes and satellites in Martian orbit and on the ground...

...oh. All they recorded was this snippet from, "A FEW GOOD MEN." You know, 'cause we can't handle it, our advanced degrees and volumes of common sense totally worthless.

If you must read the NASA pap, here it is. You of course believe every word of it, because that's the kind of trusting soul you are. Gosh, the sheer amount of pictorial evidence on NASA's site alone... oh, wait. There isn't any. We have to take their word for it. AGAIN.

Swamp meteor donut gas. Musta been.

Those damn swamp jelly donut meteor showers make a damn mess, Mabel. Just ask NASA.