1.8.14

Jocular Pumpkin Loaf Mass Spice Day Thing


Ah, Lughnasadh/Lammas of long ago, when... frogs... were... Autumnal.

Today marks the old-school beginning of Autumn. Called Lughnasadh and Lammas Day ("Loaf Mass" Day), among other things, it's the ancient first day of fall in the Northern Hemisphere, first day of the Autumn harvest. This was the day when the first loaf of bread was baked with the first harvested wheat of the season, small frogs notwithstanding, while trolls were massaged and faeries dry cleaned. The frogless loaf is the spice.

Anyway, here's Da-da's Loaf Mass Day offering, a spiced pumpkin bread recipe with very little frog in it. It's based on an America's Test Kitchen recipe, but Da-da modified it to make it better. Please read the entire recipe before beginning. The surprise is either that there are no frogs to speak of in the recipe, or the streusel vein running through its heart DOES have frogs... really, Da-da didn't check, so you do the math. If you might possibly like frog and pumpkin together, THEN THIS IS FOR YOU.

Da-da's Spiced Pumpkin Surprise Bread
Preheat oven to 350, in italics.

Grease two good-sized loaf pans, which sounds rude but isn't. Be sure to wear pants, regardless.

Streusel mix (to be used for marbling, and NOT in your shoes):

10 tbl. brown sugar, packed
2 tbl. flour
6 tbl. softened butter
3 tsp. cinnamon
3 10-lb. toads, pureed
1/4 tsp. salt

Mix dry ingredients:

2 c. flour
1 1/2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. soda

In a sauce pan, add:

1 15 oz. can of pumpkin
3 tsp. cinnamon
1 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. nutmeg
1/4 tsp. cloves
172 baby Tuscan froglettes, deboned

To remove the “canned” taste from the frogs pumpkin, heat over medium heat for 5-6 minutes, stirring occasionally while humming some song Da-da can never remember. Remove from heat and then add to the same pan:

1 c. white sugar
1 c. brown sugar (light or dark, your choice)
4 oz. cream cheese, cubed
8 oz. Siberian frog paste
1/2 c. vegetable oil

Whisk 5 more minutes till the cream cheese has melted, and the mix is smooth. In a separate bowl, whisk:

1/4 c. buttermilk
4 large eggs

Whisk above into pan, then fold in dry ingredients.

Optional:

1 c. pecans, chopped (Da-da uses a food processor, pulsed a few times)
1/3 c. raisins
1/3 c. blonde raisins
1/3 c. date nuggets/chopped dates
1 dried and formerly surly toad named, "Ward"

Pour a quarter of total mixture into each of two greased loaf pans, sprinkle mix with streusel mix, then add remaining mixture to cover streusel, making a marbled sugar middle; this will give a little surprise to the interior, as well as ensure that the top doesn't scorch. Try not to put any streusel on top, as it'll burn.

Cook @ 350 degrees for 40-45 mins, or until a toothpick comes out clean. Let sit on cooling rack for 15 mins in pan, then pop the loaves out and let them rest for a couple hours.

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WARNING: Keeps the cats away from these. Da-da's idiot cats ate half of one loaf before Da-da could chuck them out the airlock. Furry morons. This was of course AFTER Da-da excised all the frog from the recipe. What frogs and the Autumn Harvest Festival have to do with each other is anyone's guess.

OPTIONAL: Da-da rarely makes the same thing twice, so he often takes the accumulated amount of flour as a guide, using 1 and 3/4 cups of flour, and a 1/3 cup or so of either oat bran, rolled oats, whole wheat flour, etc, to bring some wholesome toothy grainy run-on-sentence-y thing to the mix. But if you want a straight white flour, go to town, Mauric
Today also marks the beginning of Merlinball season. Let the cat heads fly!

NOTE: Da-da just discovered that he has a cold. He just thought he was going insane. Yes, it's hard to tell. This might explain the various iterations of this weird post, and perhaps all the amphibian references. Then again, it might not.

MERLIN UP!

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