|Da-da's actually quite sweet -- provided you apes take Hill 407 this time without tantrums.|
After inspecting his sleeping troops and settling in to his cold k-ration beany weenies -- AGAIN -- after a terrible day in the kid-trenches (trench beany weenies are the highlight), Da-da ruminated on what it's really like to be A Man Called Da-da, with two sub-7YO mental patients -- or being a parent, in general. What's it really like?
It's like trench warfare, that's what. But with more hugs and vomit. And a stuffed unicorn in no-man's land. Don't believe Da-da? Then take this little parenting test:
The Da-da Trench Test
- Do you feel exhausted from little or no sleep/being up all night, your fatigue the stuff of legend?
- Are you perpetually rumpled, dirty, unclean, unshaven, unkempt, perhaps even STINKY -- in public -- and find that you simply don't care?
- Have you started to resemble Chewbacca? Make Wookie noises?
- Do you often find yourself wearing the same clothes over and over, day after day?
- Do you find yourself scarfing cold or lukewarm, greasy food while standing up/walking/running?
- Have you found that you actually not only LIKE beany weenies, but talk about it in public?
- Do you occasionally find yourself screaming?
- Do you occasionally find yourself screaming the same thing over and over? And over?
- Do you occasionally scream or pontificate about beany weenies?
- Has your memory... um, is the... what was the question?
If you'd like the...
...it's on page 185.
|Whose turn is it to take out the diaper pail? (WWI Sam Raimi courtesy of Mr. and Mrs. Ramey.)|