|Before you start, you might want to FIND your shoes.|
DA-DA'S RULES OF SHOE-TYING CLUB
1st RULE: You do not scream during SHOE-TYING CLUB.
2nd RULE: You DO NOT SCREAM during SHOE-TYING CLUB. (Except when you're screaming.)
3rd RULE: FIND YOUR OWN DAMN SHOES.
4th RULE: If someone says "&%$*!", or their shoe hits the wall, the exercise is over.
5th RULE: Only two shoes to a person.
6th RULE: One shoe at a time, unless you're tying them together.
7th RULE: Double-knotting is mandatory.
8th RULE: Shoe-tying will go on as long as it has to.
9th RULE: If you angrily say, "I CAN DO IT!", then you will. Alone.
10th RULE: Slow down and tie your shoes like a reasonably sane, rabid animal.
11th RULE: If you're going to tie your shoes, your mouth need not be involved.
12th RULE: No shoe-technology experiments -- or YOU clean it up.
13th RULE: If your shoes glow blue, you are allowed to defy gravity -- BUT NOT IN THE HOUSE.
[See Da-da's Rules of Food Club.]