All the Pretty Wandering Poles (or, ALL YOUR MOON BASE ARE BELONG TO US)

Wow. The biggest mantle in... well, the world.
It's actually much much thinner than that, but so what?

Ah, our wandering poles. No, Da-da's not talking about peripatetic Polish nationals. He's wondering if the earth's core, flagellating hugely and quietly deep within the earth (not that there's anything wrong with that) might be having some impact on our nutty weather. And what else might be doing the same? The earth's core has certainly been taking its share of solar abuse these past half-dozen years, despite the lull, what with the existing north-south/south-north geomagnetic relationship between the earth and the sun.

Here's a little review.

Here's one Da-da prepared earlier. Kinda looks like our weather, right?

Our Shady Planet

A study was recently released this past Moon-day, in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, about the arctic getting darker, and thus warmer. This they say, and perhaps rightly, is due to the lack of ice reflecting sunlight back into space, lowering the earth's albedo (and that without saltpeter), thus helping it keep a low profile. However, what the study seems to have myopically missed is that there's currently a metric crapload of white snow over North America and Canada, reflecting sunlight like the roof of a Vegas casino.

Compounding this are recent reports of the Great Lakes being totally frozen over. They typically only freeze half-over, like being half-pregnant, the warmer lake waters warming the cold air coming into the Eastern states from Canada. It's always Canada. Now, with the lakes frozen over, the cold air screaming in... from Canada... is getting colder and creating one of the toughest winters in recent memory for those regions. 

This is the easy part to understand. But wait, there's more...

Ma-ma the Moon

Ma-ma the Moon


There are so many things the ocean wants.
It wants to relax, to sleep.
To storm. A lot.
To toss silly ships and shippage.
To worry forgotten chunks of land, earth.
But what it really wants is the moon
silver and silky and strange
so near so often, yet often missed, sometimes far away
sometimes full of aliens
looked on by so many 
often taken for granted by little people
but never forgotten by those who know,
loved for its sweetness, its saintly purview
swelled after and loved after by the salt of the earth,
the thoughts of the sea.

Supermoon Apocalypse 2: Rare Chance to Snag Spurious Frisbees This Weekend

The boys love their new nightlight, which features its own guard.

In what will no doubt be the latest fear-mongering blogger/media attempt at mongering FEAR, we'll all soon be hearing about the moon being close to the earth again -- about 12 feet from the earth, which is about as far as Da-da can stretch for the remote -- causing all manner of disasters and we're all gonna die. Again. Seems like we're all gonna die about six times a quarter. Sure, it's the closest the moon's been in XX years, and YES it'll be full, which means that this weekend's lunar lambada will see the entire earth explode and corporations the only things left to survive along with all the cockroaches so they can each push the other around in a justice poétique kinda way usually found in Supermoon Apocalypses and apocryphal run-on sentences.

For anyone not in the know, Supermoon Apocalypses also always yield a certain inexplicable yearning for... isochronic tones. Why? Because:

1. They make your chakras all fresh and springy, and
2. They make you number things, and
3. They make you levitate high enough to snag those frisbees on the roof. 

Not sure if fear and frisbees and numbering things are related, but you're far less likely to think straight when you're afraid. Or playing Ultimate Frisbee. Or counting to infinity.

Ultimate. Frisbee.

SUPERMOON APOCALYPSE, AAAIIEIIEEEEE

It's a fact: full SUPERMOON APOCALYPSES encourage run-on sentences. And tantrums.

Sorry, couldn't resist. In yet another fear-mongering media attempt at mongering FEAR (you getting this?), the moon is apparently going to be soooo close to the earth -- something like 221,567 miles away (or 356,577 kilometers), which is about as far as Da-da goes for a taco, A REALLY GOOD TACO -- that we're all gonna die. AGAIN. Seems we're, "ALL GONNA DIE," about three times a quarter these days, he said, sardonically. Sure, it's the closest the moon's been in 18 years, and YES, it'll be full, such that on the March 19th APOCALYPSE MOONIE close-up, the entire earth will explode and all corporations will perish, boo hoo. (If all the corporations died, would you cry any big salty tears?) Anyway, that's what some people think. Then again, some people read, "PEOPLE."

For anyone not in the know, you should turn all this stuff off and go read, *Jane Eyre,* because:

1. It's really good, and
2. The fear mongers want you AFRAID and buying things 24/7 and not reading high quality books like, *Jane Eyre,* and using your head for something other than a hat rack while reading annoying run-on sentences all the time, what's wrong with you?

Not sure if fear and buying things and hat racks are related, but you're far less likely to think straight when you're afraid, and when you're not thinking straight... MAN, are you easy to control. (The last time Da-da didn't think straight due to fear -- BOOM -- he had two kids. Guess that was more like BOOM BOOM.) What was Da-da talking about? CONTROL. There's money to be made in control, and that's what life's all about, right? Right? Is this thing on? And stop starting sentences with AND, grammar-puss.

That said, it wouldn't hurt to ramp your earthquake preparedness a little, esp. as the earth and sun are more and more sympatico, electromagnetically speaking, and the mantle seems to be extra slippery in terms of the Pacific plate, but don't freak out about it -- don't freak out about anything, EVER. Even if zombies suddenly appeared, your life would be gravy. Think about it. Zombies mean all bets are off and there's no more taxes, no IRS, no 9-5, no mortgage to pay, lots of adventure and eating beany weenies before being bitten and infected and then leading all your zombie comrades on a ZOMBIE MARCH ON WASHINGTON DC... ah, allow Da-da his little fantasy a moment. Wherewasi? Right. The full moon at perigee does make earthquakes more probable, statistically, as tides are quite powerful, but nothing will happen right away. No, if Da-da were forced to hang his prophetic cheese in the wind, he'd mention that his spurious data points to a seismic event to occur early in the morning (Pacific time) on... April 14th -- 30 days from today (so you have some time to prepare), but nothing so serious that it can't be rectified by a few tactical moon pies and Da-da coffee. Put those two together and THERE'S your seismic event. Jeez, did you read all that? You NEED a moon pie and Da-da coffee after that post.

This is actually a quasi-moon-pie/vanilla ice cream thing, which is cheating, a little, but who's gonna complain?

[Postmortem: after the fact, the Supermoon Apocalypse turned out to be a micro rather than a macro, causing 3 and 5YO Bronko and Nagurski to become LOONEY, and chew on each other all freaking day. However, these types of moons tend to loosen things up for effects later. Da da da.]