Da-da's Top 11 (Mostly Legal) Tools to Help You Stay Calm With Your Difficult Child

What are the real keys to avoiding constant fights with your child? Believe it or not, it's the stuff you see below. When your child is upset, anxious or angry, keeping the following 11 things handy will save you and your child, and will invariably guarantee the release of countless doves and bunnies.
So, next time you're faced with an impossible child and your own cranial Chernobyl, try one of these
11 helpful parenting tips.

11. A Cautionary Tale

The right story can diffuse many a bad situation... and of course, warm those cockles.

10. A Hug

Never underestimate the power of a group hug.
9. Crocodiles

Never underestimate the power of a crocodile in a book case.

 8. A Dancing Chicken

NEVER underestimate the power of a dancing chicken.

7. A Friendly Countenance

Never underestimate the power of a happy face.
6. Kung Fu

Few children can handle a sudden, judicious application of kung fu.

5. An Angry Penguin

Never underestimate the power of... oh, never mind.


Only one child in a million can run faster than giant Saharan spiders at full gallop.
"Be good, Timmy, or Da-da will RELEASE THE SPIDERS."


Kids acting up? Have 'em go surfing with MEGALODON. SEE how good they become.

2. That Special Parenting LOOK

Developing and effectively deploying that patented parenting LOOK works on nearly all children,
PTA members and principals... but NOT on Ma-ma or govt. officials. Or teenagers.

Factually, the #1 child-rearing device in staying both sane as a parent and calm with difficult children (which means ALL children save the Dalai Lama and maybe two others) is...

Fig. 1. Humor.

1. Humor

Without humor, we're all just mass without gravity. Try it. And yes, make it weird. Use a funny voice. Reading Shakespeare with a funny voice can kill at least 20 minutes. But... if you can't manage humor yourself, or are too tired, Da-da has an easy shortcut:

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