Since it's always time for a Shakespearean cat parody, let's wax Merlinesque!
"What a piece of work is a MERLIN! How lacking in reason, how infinite in insensate purriness! In form and moving how spooky and impossible! In action how like a furry monster, in apprehension how like another furry monster! (Especially in terms of omnivoric capacity.) The insane toasted marshmallow beauty of the world! The self-appointed bitey paragon of animals! And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of hairball? Barf delights not me. No, nor woman neither, though by my wife smiling she seems to suggest who's cleaning it up this time."