Da-da's Final Post on the NFL, Melting Nazis and Reaching the End of the Batman-Riding-Unicorn Rainbow

A real graphic from ESPN, not doctored by Da-da.

The above image and text... is just weird, right? Da-da's seen so much weird that he kinda takes it for granted. But then there's WEIRD. (Btw, "were" as in "werewolf" means, "MAN." So, werewolf means, "MAN-WOLF" and, "WEIRD" means, "OF MAN." Fitting, right?) Anyway, the above image and the below text are directly from ESPN's site, circa 2011:

BRISTOL, CT—ESPN announced that they will replace Hank William Jr.’s theme song for Monday Night Football with a scene from the 1981 film Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark in which a large group of Nazis are liquified upon opening the Ark of the Covenant.

Williams’ song “All My Rowdy Friends” served as the broadcast's introduction for over 20 years, but was pulled following comments he made comparing President Barack Obama to Nazi leader and noted hater of Jewish people, Adolf Hitler.

“We at ESPN want to send a strong message that Monday Night Football is strictly an anti-Nazi program,” wrote Carol Stiff, Vice President of Programming, in a statement released this morning. “Mr. Williams’ comments contradicted that view, which is why we have decided to replace his introduction with something more in line with our belief that Nazis are awful, awful people, and we think a solid minute of melting German nationalist social party members accomplishes the goal of getting fans ready for football in a family friendly way.”

Mmm, liquified Nazis = Family Friendly! Not to mention WEIRD. But this makes total sense to DISNEY, ESPN's parent company. The above happened three years ago and Da-da's still scratching his head, not that he cares if Hank Williams Jr. is ever heard from again (psst, he doesn't). Jeez, it's as if ESPN had no idea who owns them. Wake up and smell the hot wax, guys.

Now, Da-da doesn't want to write about sports -- or start sentences with, "now." He no longer believes in the manufactured duality of sports spectacle with their cheeseburgers-for-the-apocalypse raison d'etre wagonload of rabid flagwaving run-on-sentence color-schemed WINNER and LOSER separation, dividing humanity into FUMBLERS and those who are not. Into those who beat their wives in private, and those who don't. This is nothing but sophomoric, outdated, third-dimensional vibratory us-vs-them raw-meat thinking -- in italics, yet.  However, the good news is that, like the cabal and the Powers That Were, it's quickly going the way of the Reagan hairdo couch.

Indeed, our sad, capitalistic world will continue to wheeze on for a little while longer, clutching its Dick Cheney-model pacemaker and sucking wind, thinking that we -- we redundant WE -- we feckless Viewers in Viewing Land, we useless eaters, are clueless and stupid and easy to control. Well, guess what: we're not, and we're waking up to that fact. In fact, we've showered, shaved, had a good rousing breakfast and have been standing on your former-controller-bonehead lawns since daybreak. Ever see the end of Frankenstein? Like our torches and pitchforks, our unicorns are glinty and pokey, our dolphins freshly waxed, and you -- The Monster -- will not win.

Everything's fine, Gotham.

What's Da-da complaining about?

Case in point: the first Monday Night Football game for 2014, NY Giants vs. the Detroit Lions. The announcers, John Gruden and Mike Tirico, formerly decent people, prior to say 2011. They were once borderline fair, if not a little overly excited about whatever made the most money, as they themselves are being paid LOTS OF MONEY to be enthusiastic and money's the only thing to be excited about -- for them -- but this has gotten much worse. Tirico was always a smiling ESPN bag man, but MAN is John Gruden drinking the kool-aid these days. It's so disappointing. So much so that Da-da has taken to calling them, "Greedin and SaTirico."

In their most recent season-opening entry, the elite MNF team started talking about the NY Giants. And then there were the Giants. And there was that team from New York... what was their name? Oh, yeah. THE GIANTS. Um, was anyone else playing? Were the Giants gonna play themselves? Sure, New York's a big market. Their team is supposed to be, "good enough" (psst, it's not, and hasn't been for a while) to generate decent ad revenue, not to mention sell tickets and TV rights and NFL jerseys and $75 parking passes and $15 beers, blah blah blah. So of course Greedin and SaTirico only talked about the Giants, their players, their challenges, all their amazing personnel, their roster, their this their that. They did this for the Detroit offensive line, a coach here and there, and that's all about Detroit. After all: it's DETROIT, a moniker that carries a whole load of media-induced baggage. But when the Giants started to suck big time (they lost the game 35-14), Greedin and SaTirico explained that the Giants were having an off night, as that that's the only way the Lions could possibly win, right? Not exactly.

Already rife with "weapons" (they're people -- "players" -- not weapons) the Lions have also retooled recently, and simply outplayed the rather lame and soulless Giants, led by the ever-vacant, three-and-out Eli Manning, despite a ton of penalties called against Detroit. A lot of those calls were interesting, as they were nitpicky, the refs looking more and more guilty at each call; they weren't making those same calls against the Giants that night, despite their actions. It was ostensibly only Detroit that was having a problem. Were the refs paid off to make it tough for Detroit? Was the fix IN with them, the announcers, with ESPN, the NFL, as New York is a big market, their fans millionaires and billionaires, with big advertising dollars and kick-backs and all manner of big city dreck oozing out of the pipe, such that they deserved to win more than lowly Detroit, a failing city which has been made to LOOK like a failing city so real estate is cheap enough to make foreign investors salivate now that gold and hard currency is so hard to come by? Who's to say? But like Da-da said, we're not stupid.

This all looked suspicious to Da-da, especially for an opening night game for both teams. Was ESPN  *that* desperate for ad revenue that they'd tip their hand so obviously? Da-da's not sure. He's only a 20+ year communications veteran who's worked both sides of the camera, and who's been watching football evolve into an embarrassingly jingoistic and venal machine of questionable worth since the '70s. What does he know? Time will tell. It's doubly sad, as Da-da used to like Greedin when he was coach of the Raiders, then Tampa Bay (which he kinda inherited from Tony Dungy). But since then, Greedin's become a big Hooters-lovin' TV phoney. However, Chucky, it's never too late to change.

As for, "Sunday Night Football," which used to be Monday Night Football... [sigh], who cares? Both those guys are so infinitely annoying that Da-da simply doesn't go there. That game is dead to Da-da, whomever's playing. Those guys are even more unwatchable, unlistenable. Such opinionated, biased dunderheads that if Da-da were present, he'd probably hit one or both of them with a rock -- and Da-da's a pacifist. It's getting to that point. Just slap them, laws be damned -- because they are. The law is over. Football is over. They've both been bought and sold -- out.

So why does Da-da watch? Well, it used to remind him of his childhood... but that nostalgia has been whittled thin, so much so that it's too easy to see the cold reality smirking within what once was a game, but has now turned, like everything else, into a moneymaking machine.

This is probably Da-da's last year of watching the NFL, as it's become too sad to watch. The fact that the NFL commissioners lied repeatedly about the severity of player head injuries for over thirty years, has soured many on them. The most recent lies are just the final nails in the coffin.

If that wasn't enough, the fact that the NFL is a 501c nonprofit entity that made a reported $9B last year -- nine billion dollars -- and paid zero federal taxes on that money... well, that's the last straw. Da-da knows that money is the American Way, but if he doesn';t watch... they don't make money.

He's starting not to watch.

How much longer will the NFL and the Powers That Were continue to think that we're all stupid? Not much longer. Da-da gives the NFL about ten more years, maybe less, before they go belly-up, as people's attentions are moving away from us-vs-them mindsets and lies to... well, us. And the truth. The truth is SO much more compelling than the lies we've been told. And now that we have that, we're finding that WE are the ones we've been waiting for.

Oh, and ESPN and MSM... those Nazis that are melting? That's you. That's what you've become. The good news is that you have good people inside you. Let us know when you get that wax out of your hair. We're a pretty forgiving lot. Just don't step on our rainbow.

Can you hear the shark-jumping? It's loud.

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