The One Where Da-da BLAH BLAH BLAHs

Yes, it's sad that Da-da's Sandworm Party lost the U.S. Presidential election, but in losing, the sandworm -- and its brethren, all lined up and ready to eat the world anew -- know that there was now only one choice to make. What is that choice and why is Da-da of all people writing about it? Well, it's the choice that Da-da drills into the foil-hatted little heads of his dynamite charges, Bronko and Nagurski (now aged 5 and 7), every day. EVERY DAY.

Ok, so what's the choice already?


Choose to compromise. Da-da has four quite distinct individuals and two annoyingly individualistic cats and several recalcitrant ghosts living under his roof, and each has their own little screaming whiney demands. Luckily, Da-da has a loud voice and his hearing is shot. Once the whining stops, we can begin to COMPROMISE. Da-da's gonna write that word in CAPS because you've all forgotten it, it seems.

You can't always have things your way. Wait, let Da-da write that again...


It ain't gonna happen. Why? Because that's what you signed up for when you foolishly agreed to be born on PLANET EARTH in the backwoods Omega Quadrant. So, COMPROMISE. It's what made every great country and empire and long-term business and... well, yes, even some novels... great. (It should be noted that there's a lot less COMPROMISE in movies, as COMPROMISE often kills movies, but then again, Hollywood is the last bastion of all things UNCOMPROMISING, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, till CPA zombies do us part.)

Blah blah blah, right? Another Da-da sermon. Well, try it on this time. Stop yelling. Listen. Be fair. Like Da-da says every freaking day, 100 times or more:


Jeez, were you born in a barn or something? Cut it out. If you really love your country, PROVE IT. Don't make Da-da get out the velcro suits again, 'cause you all look funny stuck up on the wall. We all need a fresh start. SO START FRESH. Get along. Get on with it. And keep it down to a dull roar, or there's no dessert or TV for a week.

Clearly, what every country needs is a good, strong sandworm... er, parent. Sorry. Da-da was looking forward to the SPICE FLOWING, but he'll take a step back and... COMPROMISE... until no Harkonnen breathes Arrakeen air.

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