Bad Mall Something Something

The Three-legged Santabot 3000 in all its glory. Give us a kiss.

A long-time reader inquired as to why Da-da was not suffering and insufferable via another cheermageddon stint as Bad Mall Santa Da-da. Alas, this year Da-da had his job outsourced to a creepy robo-santa with three legs and a crushing jolly mecha-hug that no kid has sat for to date, but... well, it does smell minty. Da-da does not smell minty; he's more bean-with-bacon meets some fragrance by Christopher Walken.

Anyway, oddly redolent Da-da wasn't entirely left out this holiday season, as the good management folks at Haughland's Mill's Mall of Feasance created a new "dream" job for Da-da... until they gave it to a manager's girlfriend who's apparently better at positions than Da-da.

Nice boots, Desiree.

However, since the mall powers-that-be did make Da-da a promise, they let Da-da wear the roomier LOBBY TREE costume...

Sure, this costume fits better, but now Da-ds craves sushi all the time.

...which was indeed a radioactive touch more Da-da-esque, if you know what Da-da means and he thinks you do.

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