Tao of Da-da 22: Finding Your Inner Blankie

Fig. 37c. Post-blankie psychosis, T-minus 30 seconds.

22

If you want to find your blankie,
look where you left it.
If you want Da-da to be happy,
get Buzz Lightyear off the cat.
If you want to become full,
stop complaining and eat your damn dinner.
If you want to be reborn, be Da-da's guest.
If you want to be given everything,
you might want to try a different family.

A Man Called Da-da, by residing in this, “Da-da-ness,”
sets an example for all Da-da beings on what not to do.
Because he doesn't display himself,
his skin grows pale.
Because he has nothing of his own,
the Small Beings play with anything they want.
Because he doesn't know who he is,
Big Beings put him in the psych ward.
Because he has no goal in mind,
the goalie will always succeed.

When the Ancient Da-da Masters said,
"If you want to be given everything, then pack your bags,"
they weren't just using empty phrases.
The Ancient Da-da Masters were pissed.
Never piss off the Ancient Da-da Masters.

[Excerpted from Da-da's unpublished third book, The Tao of Da-da (or "Strong Winds CAN Blow All Day, Depending on How Much Sugar Has Been Ingested"). Void where prohibited. Only gentle, two-fisted publishers may apply. And if you have the blankie, PLEASE CALL DA-DA IMMEDIATELY.]

Fig. 39d. Post-blankie psychosis, T-minus two minutes.