|Oh. A beer. How nice. Do you have an IV drip?|
A Man Called Da-da is often called Mr. Mom:
empty yet exhaustible,
but he's not exactly mom-like:
Ma-ma’s shoes are big,
and MAN, she sure has a lot of them.
Quite honestly, Ma-ma also looks
and smells a whole lot better.
On the bright side,
Da-da gives birth to infinite worlds
of screaming and laughter, existing
somewhere between Christmas and being roasted alive,
and besides that time he went crazy in the basement,
he tries to be there for you.
He's always present when you barf,
especially when it’s all over him.
You get to anoint him in any way you want;
a human diaper, he’s super absorbent.
He spends hours shopping and making food
you are sure to ignore.
And while Da-da's countless layers
exhibit tens of thousands of years of human ingenuity,
that onion smell goes away with a shower.
Da-da also comes in a handy dispenser,
boasts a thousand convenient uses,
and has a refrigerated tap hidden in the diaper bag.
Da-da's less filling and tastes great.
[Excerpted from Da-da's unpublished third book, The Tao of Da-da (or "Strong Winds CAN Blow All Day"). Void where prohibited. Da-da is large. He contains multitudes.]